It's been too long since I've posted something, so here goes...
Why is it that the things we want the most are the things we sometimes have the least control over. Relationships are a prime example. We want what we can't have, or more to the point, we desire something that we have no control over.
The last couple of weeks have been very bad for me in terms of my social life and how my friends fit into that. To make a long story short, I'm been confronted with an age old question--both in terms of my friendships and potential relationships. Do I change who I am, how I act, how I speak and how I feel to get what I want NOW? Or do I remain the same, and hope that the person or people are out there for me?
I know my faults....and I know my charms. It's all a part of who I am...and lately because certain people haven't been accepting of them...I feel like I'm suffering because of it. And I did entertain the thought that perhaps I should make a wholesale change, or become a bit more proactive. To mold and dull the rough edges of who I am to make myself more palatable to those I want to hang out with because I'm sick and tired of being alone, per se.
But then I realized...that if I did that...the people hanging out with me wouldn't be hanging out with "ME"...but they'd be socializing with a fake; a fraud, a counterfeit. And I would hate myself for having to undertake the charade. HATE IT.
So...even though who I am isn't going to get me invited by people I think should want to hang out with me...that's ok. I am who I am...all of me...witty and sarcastic...compassionate to the point of being moved to tears...and hard headed to the point of callousness. Incredibly intelligent in some things...and incredibly ignorant in others. Uplifting and cruel. Religious and...well, you get the gist. I'm a glorious rainbow of contradictions, a mosaic of inconsistencies...and that is who I am.
And while I can slighly modify and change myself....I have to be careful that I do it not to curry favour with those who don't respect me for who I am...but because I want to change.
There's a lot of "I"s in this post...but I think I'm ok with that.
Be who you are. Always. And let your personality and who are be irrepressible!!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Census and Sensibilities....
For some of you who follow my facebook page, you will be aware that I haven't filled out my census form (or more to the point, gone online to fill it out). It is the law, and it is fairly important for Statistics Canada that I fill it out. After all, the demographic information collected helps governments of all levels provide services, and glean information that can be used for decades to come.
I've had 2 calls from the Gov't of Canada about this matter, and frankly, I'm a bit perturbed. While I fully recognize the fact that information needs to be gathered, I'm disturbed at the seemingly heavy handed approach of the gov't in pressuring me to give them the information which for the most part, THEY ALREADY KNOW. They know where I live, my race, and religion--they know my income, taxes paid, or not paid. With a little bit of digging, they can find out where I went to university, etc. All this information is stored, or unwittingly volunteered to our friendly government...and with all of this information at their disposal...they still want me to surrender up MORE information?
Frankly...it offends me and my sensibilities and speaks of a government that might know just a bit too much about me for my own good. So I think I'll keep my census form unfilled for a little bit longer--just to see how the coercive the coercive power of the government can get...
Now, on to something else. I've decided to do something different. While I hate to take my advice from a sitcom, especially Seinfeld...I've decided to follow the example of George Costanza in the episode "The Opposite". In it, Costanza decides to do the opposite of what he'd normally do, all to great results!!
Now, I'm not saying I'm going to go that far....but I'm been approaching certain aspects of my life in the same way...and it's not exactly working. Soooooooo....I'm going to do the opposite, or do things differently enough to the point where I won't be acting the way I normally do (but it will be a concious decision)....and we shall see what happens!!
I've had 2 calls from the Gov't of Canada about this matter, and frankly, I'm a bit perturbed. While I fully recognize the fact that information needs to be gathered, I'm disturbed at the seemingly heavy handed approach of the gov't in pressuring me to give them the information which for the most part, THEY ALREADY KNOW. They know where I live, my race, and religion--they know my income, taxes paid, or not paid. With a little bit of digging, they can find out where I went to university, etc. All this information is stored, or unwittingly volunteered to our friendly government...and with all of this information at their disposal...they still want me to surrender up MORE information?
Frankly...it offends me and my sensibilities and speaks of a government that might know just a bit too much about me for my own good. So I think I'll keep my census form unfilled for a little bit longer--just to see how the coercive the coercive power of the government can get...
Now, on to something else. I've decided to do something different. While I hate to take my advice from a sitcom, especially Seinfeld...I've decided to follow the example of George Costanza in the episode "The Opposite". In it, Costanza decides to do the opposite of what he'd normally do, all to great results!!
Now, I'm not saying I'm going to go that far....but I'm been approaching certain aspects of my life in the same way...and it's not exactly working. Soooooooo....I'm going to do the opposite, or do things differently enough to the point where I won't be acting the way I normally do (but it will be a concious decision)....and we shall see what happens!!
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