Someone once said that making salad dressing was like diplomacy: you have to know how much oil to mix with one's vinegar.
I think that applies to a lot of things in life--the balance of being nice and friendly, combined with being tart and irritated, in just the right mixture.
I was thinking about this when I was thinking about an aquaintence. We interact every now and then, and our working relationship is cordial, but I wouldn't say it was warm. In thinking about it, I was struck at how many differences we have in our lives, and how it affects our interactions.
Let's see. I can't stand the club scene, don't like to drink, am not what you'd consider a fashionista in any sense of the word. I've been to university, own my own apartment, and have a couple of university degrees under my belt. I'm down to earth, serious, and usually (USUALLY) possessed of a certain gravitas (some might call stolid). I'm sarcastic, witty, but definitely not a drama queen. I believe in a more traditional sense of God and religion. I'm an introvert. It stands to reason, therefore, that my counterpart is the opposite of me in every single thing that I've listed here.
So it really came as no shock when I evaluated the working relationship I have with this person to realize that despite the warmth that exuded from it, it really was more of a false sincerity. And that did surprise me. But only for an instant. I realized after going through this exercise that we really are different in the core values that we have. Like night and day, oil and water. We don't mix.
But I have another friend--we are opposites in many many ways, but we still manage to get together and hang out, and I'd trust him like a brother if I needed someone's help.
So what's the difference between the two people? Or, more to the point, does the difference lie with me?
I think that's the mystery of humankind. The fact that we can be opposites to so many people, and yet complement each other--and be opposite to so many people, and be antagonistic to them. Or vice versa. What is it that makes the difference? Some ineffable quality that can't be named--an aura? a soul? Is it something that is bred in our bones--we look at them and say, "No, I don't like them", and that's it?
Is it intuition or a gut feeling?
But at the heart of it, is there anything we can do about it?
I think that applies to a lot of things in life--the balance of being nice and friendly, combined with being tart and irritated, in just the right mixture.
I was thinking about this when I was thinking about an aquaintence. We interact every now and then, and our working relationship is cordial, but I wouldn't say it was warm. In thinking about it, I was struck at how many differences we have in our lives, and how it affects our interactions.
Let's see. I can't stand the club scene, don't like to drink, am not what you'd consider a fashionista in any sense of the word. I've been to university, own my own apartment, and have a couple of university degrees under my belt. I'm down to earth, serious, and usually (USUALLY) possessed of a certain gravitas (some might call stolid). I'm sarcastic, witty, but definitely not a drama queen. I believe in a more traditional sense of God and religion. I'm an introvert. It stands to reason, therefore, that my counterpart is the opposite of me in every single thing that I've listed here.
So it really came as no shock when I evaluated the working relationship I have with this person to realize that despite the warmth that exuded from it, it really was more of a false sincerity. And that did surprise me. But only for an instant. I realized after going through this exercise that we really are different in the core values that we have. Like night and day, oil and water. We don't mix.
But I have another friend--we are opposites in many many ways, but we still manage to get together and hang out, and I'd trust him like a brother if I needed someone's help.
So what's the difference between the two people? Or, more to the point, does the difference lie with me?
I think that's the mystery of humankind. The fact that we can be opposites to so many people, and yet complement each other--and be opposite to so many people, and be antagonistic to them. Or vice versa. What is it that makes the difference? Some ineffable quality that can't be named--an aura? a soul? Is it something that is bred in our bones--we look at them and say, "No, I don't like them", and that's it?
Is it intuition or a gut feeling?
But at the heart of it, is there anything we can do about it?
Damndest thing, too - take you and I, extreme political nemesis (nemesis pl?). In any case, night and day, yin/yang, etc., etc...
ReplyDeleteHowever, if something very bad happened to either of us, I think both of us are human enough to make sure we'd help.
We spend so much time evaluating the plumage of the other birds to be sure we're all of a feather, and then we realize that we're the richer for the different-colored birds...
(great, now I've managed to make it about color...way to go, Dewdney.)
Great post, Adrian. Well done.
(...and Adrian...I have it on VERY good authority, sources to remain anonymous and therefore protected) that you are the EPITOME of a drama queen.
ReplyDeleteStop muttering. It's bad for your mental health. :D